Bullied for Being Different

        N's parents always thought that there was something different about him but did not pay much attention about it until N went to school for the first time at age 5. His teacher said he could not cope with the lessons and was actually behaving differently compared to his classmates. Because of being "different", his parents were advised to have N evaluated by a doctor who confirmed that N has Autism.
       Since then, N studied at a special school. His progress in academic and communication skills were quite remarkable. After several years of faring in a special school, he was recommended to be mainstreamed into a regular school.
       A big transition in N's life unfolds. The eight year old boy was assessed and qualified to join in the 1st Grade Class. The first month of the school year went on smoothly for N. But the subsequent month was filled with grim. 
       There was a time N would miss eating during recess because his snack bag was missing. He would come home with scribbles at the back of his polo shirt. Some of his school stuffs  like pencils or pad paper were lost and apparently big boys took them from his bag. When asked who were those kids and why they did that to him, he would just lock himself in deafening silence. But his eyes could not hide the feelings of sadness and fear.

       His parents brought this concern to his teacher. It was not easy digging up facts about the unpleasant incidents that happened to N because he was always alone since he had no friends. The teacher then found out that a group of boys from the 5th Grade were behind these atrocious acts.
       The bullies receive a short term punishment. N was relieved, but not for long. When the bullies got back from suspension, of course they no longer took N's snack bag or school stuffs, nor scribbled at the back of his polo shirt. This time, they resorted to a more vicious but discreet way of bullying - verbal abuse. Verbal abuse may not leave physical evidences, but it is powerful enough to dishearten and inflict wounds in one's emotions.
        N have gotten tired of all those kids who ridiculed and refused to accept him. One morning, he resisted his mother in getting him ready for school. He was asked why he did not want to go to school and N replied in a melancholy tone, "they say I am abnoy", ( "abnoy" is a Filipino slang for abnormal). Tears welled in his eyes. His mother's heart was shattered seeing his boy emotionally tormented. 
       N never returned to that school. His parents were equally traumatized by the experience. N went back to the special school and continued his studies. His parents still in search for another regular school. This time their fingers are tightly crossed and really hoping for a school with a more friendly environment. A school that supports someone like N to be educated and have a better chance to a fuller life.


      Bullying is an aggressive behavior that may be physical or verbal common among school aged children. School bullying should not be regarded as part of growing up. School administrators must find ways  to prevent it and address it properly should an incidence of bullying had already occurred.
      Children who are victims of bullying experience real suffering that can interfere with their social and emotional development and school performance. Studies have shown that one out of ten students drop out of school because they are bullied. Some victims of bullying ended up committing suicide.
      Children targeted by bullies are often passive and easily intimidated, have few or no friends at all. They may also be smaller or younger that seem to be unfit to defend themselves. Other kids are picked on by bullies because of their physical appearances ( e.g. being fat or too thin) or because of noticeable peculiarities.
      Special needs children particularly those under the Autism Spectrum are proven to fit in the profile of favorite targets of these bullies. They are oftentimes alone since it is not easy for them to get along with others and make friends. Some kids under the spectrum even when they have improved significantly in academic performance still have self stimulatory behaviors ( e.g. hand flapping, waving, body rocking) that made them be perceived as "different" in the midst of typical children. Being "different" is not a reason for  others to tease, ridicule, or hurt someone.
     A typical child may have difficulty figuring out what to do if he is a victim of bullying. It is even harder for someone under the spectrum to do so given the fact that some of them may have limitations in their ability to communicate or express themselves. Being depressed and reluctant to go to school are some signs that a child might be undergoing a problem in school. Parents should talk to their child about it and ask the help of his teacher or guidance counselor.
     Schools, especially those which have mainstreaming program for special learners, should have concrete guidelines on addressing the issue of bullying. School bullying should not be regarded as a petty issue between students because it can have a great impact and can scar a person's emotions for life.
   
 
Photo Credits:
  Sad Boy by David Castillo Dominici
  Children in the School Yard by Vlado